Ah, world, what lessons you prepare for us
even in the leafless winter,
even in the ashy city.
I am thinking now
of grief, and of getting past it.
Mary Oliver
I hate January. Have I mentioned this before?
I hate the perpetual darkness that just hangs low over your head, pressing down on you, threatening to pin you to the ground like a heavy boot. Sure, there are the sporadic glimpses of sunshine, but then everything is frozen solid including your fingers as they fruitlessly scrape the windshield of your car in which the heater doesn't work and a new heater core costs more to put in than to get a new vehicle, almost.
The church becomes unbearable in January as the charm and spiritual warmth of Christmas has given way to ordinary time and beginning-of-the-year administrative tasks that you just have to plow through by sheer act of will. Our church, like any church nowadays, is constantly processing change, adapting to new realities in the American religious landscape. This constant change requires constant energy and attention. In January, that can be hard to muster.
Do I sound grumpy? I'm grumpy. January will do that to me. Psalm 40 is perfect January reading, or not, depending on your feelings about being patient:
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
He drew me up from the desolate pit,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock;
making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
How are you feeling this winter? Does Psalm 40 resonate with your 2011 winter experience?
This is an encouraging Psalm. It speaks of a support system we can find in the scriptures. U2 often closes their concerts with their song "40". The band leaves slowly at the end and the audience continues on. Bono muses about how long he'll have to sing this song until change is made. Until the support he gets from scripture will be fully integrated into our world perhaps.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czzIhi3s7UY
Not sure if that link works. It's from their Chicago tour a few years back. It's on youtube if it doesn't
His cry, "How long?", over and over at the end, is moving.
ReplyDeleteThe Lethargians of the Doldrums in the 'Phantom Toll Booth' say that you can do anything you want to do as long as it is 'nothing.'
ReplyDeleteAlso, Sunshine is overrated.
Since I work in an elementary school, all January means to me is that it is the middle of the school year. I get subtle messages that the kids I am tutoring are not where they should be in reading, so “do something about it!” So now I am scrambling to get something going fast. I am blessed with a gift from God, to help these kids learn to read. No matter how crazy or frustrating it gets, I am totally grateful for my life. It is up to me to see the beauty of God's creation in every day.
Jade's comment reminds me of a Celtic pearl of spiritual wisdom. Each day is an opportunity for a new beginning.
ReplyDeleteWhile some in the WPPC book group looked on Norris' Acedia (in the WPPC library) as the book equivalent to the radio program, This American Life, a generally 'Eeyore' view of the world, I agree with Wes that examining our lazy periods is useful. I suggest Anam Cara, by John O'Donohue (in the WPPC library) as an interesting counterpoint to Norris' book. O'Donohue also shares the Celtic wisdom that each inner demon has a blessing that will heal and free you.
How long?
ReplyDeleteAt school, a couple of my first graders have asked me "How long will I have to come out for tutoring?" I tell them that if they work hard that it will not be very long at all.
But inside my head, I say, "As long as it takes."
This waiting for God and for Change is the same. It is not on our time, but "as long as it takes." Maybe that is not the right question to ask. Maybe the question is "What do we do while we are waiting?"